Welcome to my world dear reader. My lair of rants and folly. My personal writers playground. Here I am free to write what I choose. Here is where I allow myself to be the truest me I can be. As The MadQueen I rise above the social constraints and personal fears. I explore my passions and interests and share them with you all. Without shame, without worry or care to their acclaim or acceptance. Only with the hope dear reader, that something I write you may enjoy. For us to connect through space and time through words arranged on a screen. For you to know me and me to know you only by that we both know the story, and something in it resonates. This is how writing comes to life, how as an artist I might birth a new thing. An idea, a resonance, a reaction, an experience.
Lending my voice to the great conversation, uninhibited and passionate.
Why the MadQueen?
In the mid 90’s, some people, a small sect of friends used to call me Queen. I’ve had many other nicknames since then.
I began going by MadQueen in 2010. It was a nickname I used on irc. In frequenting different rooms of occult, philosophy, metaphysics, psychology and just good old fashioned fun I began to think more about the importance of words and the importance of names. Forever reinventing myself I decided I wanted a name that would have continuous and fundamental effects on my own constitution and personality.
I found this poem by Harry Crosby written in 1929.
Something finally clicked.
INVOCATION TO THE MAD QUEEN
I would you were the hollow ship
fashioned to bear the cargo of my love
the unrelenting glove
hurled in defiance at our blackest world
or that great banner mad unfurled
the poet plants upon the hill of time
or else amphora for the gold of life
liquid and naked as a virgin wife.
Yourself the prize
I gird with Fire
The Great White Ruin
Of my Desire.
I burn to gold
fierce and unerring as a conquering sword
I burn to gold
fierce and undaunted as a lion lord
seeking your Bed
and leave to them the
burning of the dead.
The piece captured the fury, strength, passion and desire I wanted to grow in myself. It spoke to me of alchemy and transmutation. Fearlessness and generosity. Union and connectivity. Independence and singularity.
“Yourself the prize”
In another piece from the same book of work Harry Crosby expounds a bit more on the enigma of the Mad Queen. From Heliograph:
The Mad Queen.
The violent state of fusion. Her Sun tattoed on my back. The bold progressive march to the Sun. Multiplication of Madness. anarchism. I lay siege to the Sun.
The MadQueen is the enigma I allow myself to embody, it is the state of my highest freedom. The MadQueen is the poet warrior unafraid and uninhibited by propriety or expectation.
I burn to Gold and lay siege to the sun.
I forge my path with passion.
I burn the dawn.
I do this for me and I do this for you. I do this as my expression and show of possibility of mind. I am reaching out for whatever will entrance and bewilder me. Confuse and enlighten me. To bring me again to that sublime place of reckoning. To connect with you dear reader through one form or another. To love that which is ever the catalyst for the unknown, the occult, the great mystery – curiosity.
And through this, should I trigger a mind to ponder, I am a bridge for the feet of Polia to the sun.
POEM FOR THE FEET OF POLIA
they have walked through the gateways
of my eyes
they have climbed the mountains
of my body
they have marched across the desert
of my heart
they have forded the rivers
of my mind
they have penetrated into the dark forest
of my soul
if I were a cannibal I might devour them
if I were Pilate I might crucify them
if I were a sorcerer I might make them vanish away
if I were Neptune I might drown them
if I were a robber I might steal them
but I am a bridge to the sun
bridge leading away from a world of pain
bridge leading away from a night of sin
bridge over the abyss of doubt
bridge for the feet of Polia to the Sun
It is I says me, and those who agree, are we.